It seems like our phones are always within reach. They never leave our hands, pockets, or bags.
Look at me, for example. My purple, scratched iPhone is with me almost all the time. I look at it as soon as I wake up. While I’m brushing my teeth. While I’m walking my dog. You get the picture.
I’m far from alone in feeling the constant urge to check my cell. According to a recent Gallup poll, more than 80% of adults keep their phones nearby while they’re awake.
Sure, technology isn’t all bad. It allows us to work remotely, stay in touch with loved ones, and even meditate. But if you’re not careful, your phone can steal small, real-life moments of joy.
“If you spend too much time looking at your phone, you might be missing out on major mood boosters in the world around you,” says AbleTo Clinical Content Producer Kelli McElhinny, LCSW.
Want to spend less time on your phone and more time being more present? Start by exploring how your phone affects your body and mind. Then review some common signs you might need a phone break.
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How your phone keeps you hooked
Why are our phones so hard to resist? Because they’re like tiny slot machines in our pockets.
Think about it. Slot machines draw you in with their colorful, flashing lights and tempting sounds. Just like your phone does with its vivid app icons and beeping alerts.
But what helps a slot machine keep your attention is the possibility of hitting the jackpot. This is known as the power of uncertain rewards. When we don’t know when or even how we’ll be rewarded, we get the urge to keep checking, or playing the slot machine.
Your phone dishes out rewards, too. They just come as likes or comments on social media posts instead of money.
Those rewards give your brain bursts of the “feel-good” hormone, dopamine. You feel pleasure. Then you go back to the source for another hit. Rinse and repeat.
This behavior loop first evolved to make sure that humans would take actions needed to stay alive, like eating and drinking. Now, the possibility of a dopamine rush pushes us to check our email or watch the latest videos from our favorite content creators.
And that’s by design. “It’s not your fault that this behavior becomes etched in your brain,” says McElhinny. “It’s a phone feature, not a bug.”
Time for a digital detox?
Your phone’s constant pull can become an obsession if you’re not careful. So it’s important to keep tabs on how you use it. Has it morphed from being a helpful tool to a harmful distraction? Do you find yourself craving it?
“If you start to feel like your phone controls you, rather than the other way around,” McElhinny says, “it’s time to set some limits.”
Here are 4 signs you might want to cut back:
1. You lose track of the time
Do you grab your phone to check the weather only to realize an hour later that you’ve been scrolling through pet photos instead? An hour you could have used to put away laundry or catch up on your book club’s next read? Your phone can easily become a time thief. “It’s up to you to decide how much phone time is too much,” says McElhinny. If available, use your phone’s built-in screen time tracking to see if you’re going over your self-imposed limit.
2. You’re “phubbing” your friends and loved ones
You can’t stop yourself from pulling out your phone when you’re at dinner with your bestie. Or during your weekly visit with your grandpa. That’s called “phubbing,” or “phone snubbing.” “You shouldn’t be paying more attention to your phone than your people,” says McElhinny. “It sends a message that they’re not important to you.” What’s more, phubbing is also linked to loneliness and lower life satisfaction.
3. Your phone is cutting into your sleep or causing other physical problems
Maybe you’re staying up too late doomscrolling. Or you’re not getting enough screen-free hours before bed to keep the blue light from disrupting your sleep. Too much time spent staring at your phone can also lead to issues like neck pain, eye strain, and headaches.
4. You can’t stand being away from your phone
Have you ever felt anxious after leaving your phone at home? That worry has a fancy name: nomophobia, which is short for “no mobile phone phobia.” It refers to the fear, discomfort, anxiety, or nervousness caused by not having access to a mobile phone. Nomophobia isn’t an official diagnosis, so it can be hard to know whether your symptoms are a sign of a disorder. But here’s a good rule of thumb: If you rely so much on your phone that it causes stress, anxiety, or depression, it may be time to cut back.
It’s not all or nothing
No one is telling you to give up your phone for good. Or even for a few days. But if you see signs that your phone use might be a problem, think about whether you need to rein it in.
Need help putting these tips into practice?
You may be eligible for virtual therapy, coaching, or on-demand self care from AbleTo. Each program is designed by clinicians and grounded in science. Sign up today and get the support you deserve.
By Katie Nave
Katie Nave is a writer and mental health advocate living in Brooklyn, New York. Her work has been featured in publications including Newsweek, Glamour, Business Insider, and Motherly. She has served as a producer for the National Women’s March and worked with organizations like Girls Inc. and CancerCare.
Clinically reviewed by Hayley Quinn, PsyD, Senior Manager of Clinical Product Experience at AbleTo.
Photo by ViewApart/iStock. Individuals in photographs do not represent AbleTo participants.
The information featured on this site is general in nature. The site provides health information designed to complement your personal health management. It does not provide medical advice or health services and is not meant to replace professional advice or imply coverage of specific clinical services or products. The inclusion of links to other websites does not imply any endorsement of the material on such websites.
